Teaching Young Widows There is “Moor” To Life Than Grief

by
Carolyn Moor
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In 2000, Carolyn Moor’s life was turned upside down when she and her husband were out celebrating on Valentine’s Day. When returning home, a hit-and-run driver crashed into their car and her husband Chad was killed. Carolyn, 36 at the time, instantly became a widow with two young daughters, and her world came crashing down. But, Carolyn chose not to let becoming a widow define her; instead she was determined to be an individual whose love and inspiration could be shared with others.

Following the tragic death of her husband, Carolyn went on national television as a featured guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show and was highlighted in a one-hour episode on TLC’s now cancelled show, Shalom in the Home. It was here that she shared her story of turning a defining moment in life into a journey that brought her from grief to happiness again. “I see the world in a very unique and hopeful way, even in the midst of uncertainty. I spend a lot of time seeking and embracing love, because it makes me happy,” says Carolyn. In the years following, Carolyn used her courageous spirit and faith to help others achieve the same happiness through the support groups she founded: CLOVE and Modern Widows Club.

CLOVECLOVE, which stands for Carolyn-LOVE, was formed in 2008 as a way for Carolyn to thank the women who helped support and encourage her during her life transition. “It’s a group that I started out of gratitude that has evolved into an intimate, invitation only, group of women meeting monthly that are conscious, luminous, open-hearted, vital, empowered thinkers and doer’s in the community, from all occupations, ages, beliefs and circumstances, who come together to spread love in a bigger way.” Carolyn leads the group and regularly invites guest speakers to discuss a variety of topics, all with the goal of building a better community.

Because CLOVE is an invitation only group and limited in numbers, Carolyn founded Modern Widows Club (MWC) to cast a wider net to specifically reach young widows. After being featured on national television, Carolyn felt compelled to start the group when many young widows sought her out for advice and leadership on the topic of being a new, modern widow.

MWC InspirationsThe mission of MWC is to bring compassion to widowed women and to show them by example that you can move through grief toward an extraordinary life. When Carolyn first lost her husband, she said that she was living one breath at a time, and that when she finally took a step forward, she would stop and go backwards until moving forward again. She refers to this as the widow dance. “It’s important for widows to move beyond the ‘victim’ role of being widowed into an empowered role of woman,” Carolyn shares. MWC supports these young women as they redefine themselves and move through the dance. “Women who go through this stage of life much sooner than they should, need to have real conversations with others who are walking the same journey and succeeding. We feel that a healthy, fully alive, fearless, graceful and modern widow alleviates normal fear for all women who lose their partner. A woman, who happens to be widowed, and exhibits great happiness and love is inspiring and hopeful on many levels.”

With much surprise to Carolyn, Modern Widows Club continues to grow with new chapters starting in Kansas City, Seattle and San Francisco and hopes to find other modern women who happened to be widowed to start and lead chapters in their communities.  Carolyn adds “I’d like to send out an SOS to widows who have become leaders to reach back and mentor with their own chapter so others can be what they can see.”

In addition to CLOVE and MWC, Carolyn also serves on the Board of Directors of New Hope for Kids, a non-profit grief counseling center in Maitland, Florida. And, if raising two daughters and starting these two support groups weren’t enough, Carolyn is also an interior designer and owner of Moor Alive Interiors, where she combines her love of design with her intention of making peoples lives more enriched and pleasurable. She also shares her design talents in community philanthropic projects such as: Habitat for Humanity, Homes for our Troops, Samaritan’s Village and New Hope for Kids Wish Program. She has also contributed to numerous women’s magazines, authored and self-published the book Living with Something Moor, and has a new book Sticky Note Vision coming out soon. Carolyn currently teaches workshops and privately mentors women while residing in Orlando, Florida with her daughters.

Carolyn has been described as a visionary with her feet planted firmly on the ground, inspiring other women one conversation at a time and instilling hope and exemplifying ordinary courage on a daily basis. And now that we know her, we wholeheartedly agree.

Lead photo property of Andi Mans Photography
 
  • Cara

    Nothing can be more devasting than losing a spouse. It is even more devasting when the man is so young and leaves a young wife and children. In this day and age, we see this happening much too often. Carolyn lost her husband in a car accident. So many more young women are losing their husbands in wars we are fighting. My heart goes out to Carolyn and all those women. Carolyn is a courageous woman who is offering hope to other women. Keep up this great work, Carolyn!!

    • Cara- Since 2000, I’ve mentored women from 9/11, senseless wars, suicide and accidents. We all feel like life happened out of order because it did. On Oprah, she asked me ‘How is it for you NOW? and I believe that was a poignant, life altering question because NOW is where we must be every day. My answer ‘I’m consciously choosing to be present every day and an inspiration to my daughters’. That is my focus each and every day I wake up. I ask God ‘where do you need me?’ and I trust what happens might inspire them. Anyone or anything else, is icing on the cake.

      • KT

        “With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.”
        -Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • Thank you for such an inspirational article about Carolyn. Reading her story makes me even more aware of the “what if’s” in life, and that there is room for me to be an even more gracious and grateful individual. By following in her footsteps, her lessons show us how to keep on carrying on despite the curve balls life throws our way.

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