My Knitted Boyfriend… One Woman’s Match.yarn Idea

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Using a pair of knitting needles and some yarn, Noortje de Keijzer, a Dutch multidisciplinary designer, has come up with her answer to female loneliness… specifically the kind that some women feel when they don’t have a guy around (ladies… why, why, why?).

The design project she calls My Knitted Boyfriend is essentially a life-size man pillow. Think blow-up doll, but one that uses stuffing instead of air to come to “life” and has a sweater-like “skin” versus vinyl.

Noortje describes her creation as, “A cushion with a personality. A cushion to kiss! Or, well… to cuddle, to caress, to hug, and to smile with.” She goes on (though we wish she hadn’t), “He likes to sit on your floor, on your couch or at you dinner table. But most of all he likes to lay down next to you in bed. With your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you. This way you will never feel alone ever again.”

Is anyone else slightly uncomfortable?

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This Mary Shelley-esque project all started in 2011. The time had come for a man in Noortje’s life. So she recruited her mother and grandmother to hand-knit her a “boyfriend”. Noortje told, “I could say that’s a joke, but it is partly true.”

She ended up with two. Arthur, who has white skin, dark brown hair and black knickers, came first. Then Steve followed. He has dark brown skin, black hair and beige knickers. Each appears to have some five 0’clock shadow stubble, armpit stubble and even a happy trail (don’t ask, if you don’t know).

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Miraculously, each of her lifeless beaus has some sort of personality too. According to Noortje’s site, “Arthur loves the camera but Steve is a bit harder to photograph.” But her pillow pals do have some things in common. She says of both, “This man is always happy. And he is flexible as well.”

Oh yeah… we don’t want to fail to mention that Arthur and Steve “can be adjusted to your own taste”. So Noortje offers a full line of Knitted Boyfriend accessories: knitted moustaches, beards, glasses, watches, bow-ties and even tattoos.

But the cherry on top of this fruit cake is the book she offers that tells the story of how My Knitted Boyfriend came to be, along with illustrated ideas about “what you can do with him and what he can do with you.”

Ay yay yay! Sounds like someone has watched Lars And The Real Girl a few too many times.

Of her My Knitted Boyfriend Noortje promises, “With this man you can be sure, he will never leave you.”

Funny, clever, or creepy? You decide.

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Photo credits: Anne Dokter at studio IJM. © 2012 NOORTJE DE KEIJZER.