Man Asks Advice Columnist Why Women Don’t Shave Their Arms… Her Response Is Priceless

BeautyMedia 16 Comments

As the nationally syndicated advice columnist of Ask Amy, Amy Dickinson gets a LOT of letters. Known for her wisdom and wit, she just tells it like it is. So when she received this gem from a reader who calls himself “Curious Guy,” asking why women don’t remove the hair on their arms, she didn’t hold back.


Whether curious or not,  Curious Guy’s uninformed opinions on women’s body hair are NOT okay, and Amy pulls no punches with a brilliant retort, which starts like this:

Dear Curious: Maybe women don’t shave their forearms because they have to work an extra 60 days a year in order to earn the same pay as a man in the same job. That extra time spent trying to make a living really cuts into a typical woman’s primping time.

Bam! But wait… there’s more:

While Amy goes on to acknowledge that some women do choose to shave parts of their bodies, she notes:

…there are just so many hours in a day, my friend. But thank you for noticing and scrutinizing our arm hair. I’m sure the women of the world are relieved you’re not a hater. 

Putting some more feminist fuel on this fire, Amy finishes her response suggesting that perhaps there are some men out there who would like to try out the arm-shaving trend, offering to judge the results herself alongside a committee of women.

Without hating on it (of course).

But of course. Well done Amy, well done!

Image via Twitter

  • KimberJem

    I don’t think he was offering an “uninformed opinion”. All he did was ask a question. I see nothing wrong with it at all.

  • Danny Brickwell

    Person seeks insight into something they don’t understand.
    A second person values self-righteousness over making connections with other human beings.

    Great story.

  • Josey Lee Aalto

    Terrible response. I’m all for women doing whatever they want with their bodies, but this guy was obviously just asking a simple question. She probably didn’t have an answer and decided to be rude instead.

  • Emily Chun

    Whether or not you agreed with her response, his scrutiny of women’s arm hair was insipid. I’m surprised she even bothered to reply at all. What a stupid thing to write in about. There was so much truth in her response, which hello! absolutely was a real answer. Women simply have more important things to worry about than their appearance. Why add one more meaningless thing to overly scrutinize?

    • Jack

      Yes, very insipid. But you know what? Amy gets to choose what she writes about or responds to, and she chose this one, not him. He just submitted a question, and whether it was interesting or needs value is not even the question here.

      And her response is not true. Not at all. The wage gap between men and women is so highly exaggerated and not at all adjusted for differences in employment and employment positions, nor does anyone seem to discuss how in the end, the true difference in salary is about 3 cents on the dollar, and you know what?

      Several research teams have already found out that the 3 cent difference tends to come from the fact that more men are willing to be more aggressive in negotiating their salaries and raises…so are we getting the whole picture here? Of course not.

      Women may have more important things to scrutinize, but um…Amy took the time to not only scrutinize a reader’s submission, but chose to simply not answer the question at all and instead threw out “facts” about women’s troubles that simply aren’t true or are so heavily exaggerated that every self-described internet feminist wants a piece of the “anti-men” train.

      In fact, if this is so insipid, why bother commenting? People don’t realize how much they become sheep in a vicious cycle…it’s insane but at least makes me laugh at the lunacy of people in this day and age. The internet has just allowed people with stupid ideas a pedestal to preach from…the sadder thing is that there are even more ignorant people who actually listen to this trash.

      Two words, people: educate yourself.

      • Emily Chun

        You might consider taking your own advice. I am not sure what sources of information you have been perusing, but your take on the gender pay gap is absolute rubbish. You picked something particularly easy to find loads of statistical information about. Feel free to dive in with me. Let’s begin with a summary on the matter from the White House since they cite their sources at the end including, but not limited to, the Harvard Business Review, the American Economic Review and the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. (Spoiler Alert – Men’s aggressive wage negotiations end up being about as significant as one crippled leg on a centipede…)

        I feel safe in believing them over some anti-feminist who spends his time reading articles on, believing at all that there is such a ridiculous thing as an “anti-men” train. Like women’s fight to achieve equality in the workplace can be shrugged off as some immature attack on men. There are plenty of men out there with you, sporting their wounded ego, arguing that facts are not facts and we are just exaggerating. You are hardly rising up to be any more than what you accuse us of being; an ignorant person listening to trash.

        Like a white person saying racism is some relic of the past, you don’t know anything about women’s struggles, because you are not a woman and you have not been very well educated in women’s studies or socioeconomics. Black Lives Matter never meant that white lives didn’t matter, although All Lives Matter sought to downplay if not silence their very real experiences and struggles. Women wanting equal pay for equal work does not mean that men should not be properly compensated for a job well done, but this idiotic movement of male angst against the female struggle to be considered equals does seek to downplay and silence our experiences and struggles. It is easy enough to see through, and I think you should reconsider your position, or at the very least read some more about it.

        I commented because I appreciated her response and didn’t agree with you, whether or not I believe that nonsense like arm hair warrants a serious conversation. Sheep and lunacy and people preaching from a pedestal indeed.

        • Nicoleta

          Very well said!

    • Danny Brickwell

      Can it really be considered scrutinising to just notice something and be curious about it?
      I understand that the “issue” of arm-hair on women is e timely unimportant, but why does that mean that a person isn’t allowed to be curious about it?
      How many conversations do we have every day that at are unimportant?

      Particularly when the curiosity leads them to asking a woman who has some kind of social authority for her female perspective, which demonstrates his acknowledgement that “hey I don’t know what I’m talking about, and I want to understand more.”

      Is it so harmful to just talk about it?
      Surely being able to have these kinds of informative conversations can only further our understanding of one another.

      • Emily Chun

        Sorry Danny, the harm isn’t in the question as much as it is in our culture. Women trying to be Barbie dolls, people not seeing them as more than people who care about being pretty. She stepped out of the question to mock the whole idea that women (or men) should care at all about this.

        Sure you can talk about unimportant things, but I would feel really silly asking a man why he shaved his face but not his legs. He would think I was completely mad… because it’s weird and awkward. It really is. But it isn’t as weird for a man to ask this sort of question, in fact I have totally been reproached with stuff like this before. A boyfriend asking why I bother wearing a certain thing when it isn’t figure flattering for example.

        It actually doesn’t come across as innocent curiosity. I don’t ask boys why they wear certain things that aren’t figure flattering, or why they wear their hair a certain way, because it would be rude and kind of controlling and just yuck. Yeah? This question reminds me of everything I hated about dating. My body and my clothes seem small to me in comparison to my interests, my personality, my soul… yet the conversation seems to always veer to the unimportant things that some people have a really unhealthy focus on.

  • Andre4000

    Men always ask women stupid questions they would never both a man with. It’s like the way they go out of their way to “correct” us on small things they would never “correct” a man over – but somehow women are construed as the “bad guy” if we point out this annoying, passive-aggressive behavior.

  • Barry Brusky

    Bam! This is garbage.

  • Elizabeth Wiethop

    But she still didn’t answer the question. He asked politely in a way a guy could try, and she decided to be sarcastic and not nice. I’m sure he maybe was looking for a more scientific/sociological/cultural based answer. I’m pretty sure for example some ladies in Europe don’t shave at all, but it isn’t a feminist statement, its just our customs / cultural influences in the US have just been different. I’d try to respond after looking up fashion history or ssomething. Definitely not try to be defensive or filippant.

  • Patti H

    If you want to know why a woman shaves her legs but not her arms, ask her. Not some advice columnist. We all make our own decisions.

  • Jack

    The response from Amy is just utterly hilarious for how absurd it is, but the comments from some readers are even more inane.

    Really? You think men are just all passive aggressive about things? You think that we are so damn smart that we carefully, masterfully, plan out every word, every action, to bring women down?

    How pretentious, to think that we care at all…This guy asked an honest question and got chewed off for it.

    I don’t care if you have better things to do, it makes sense. Why shave one set of limbs but not the other? Obviously it’s about culture and gender stereotypes, but is there a real answer? I don’t know it. And I have no agenda to “bring the women down”.

    People these days are too damn soft. Everything offends everyone. Jesus Christ, sorry for having my own opinion.

    The lunacy of people these days just makes me laugh. No matter what, you will always say something that someone in the world finds offensive…and you know what? There doesn’t have to be discussion about it. There don’t have to be “safe spaces” because of it, and we don’t need to change pronouns because of it. If you don’t like it, just ignore it…derp.

  • Fretta Mohetta

    Amy Dickenson is nothing but a feminist, man hater, plain and simple. She is so hypocritical and contradictory that it’s utterly laughable. She constantly praises women and tries to emasculate, humiliate and eviscerate men, no matter the circumstance.

    For instance, there was a column not too long ago where a woman was complaining that her husband wasn’t working enough even though he had a high level of education but was struggling to find gainful employment. He took whatever job he could get, contract or temporary so that he could contribute as much as possible financially to the marriage/family. He also did all of the cooking, cleaning, house work/chores etc. The woman went on to explain that his sporadic employment was troublesome even though he constantly pulled his own weight and more.

    Amy stroked the woman’s ego and supported her claims fully, which made me sick because I know for a FACT that if the roles were reversed and it was a man complaining about his wife’s role in the marriage, Amy would of ripped this man a new one with her feminist narrative and bullsh*t propaganda.

  • jamie

    Amy was out of line and rude. Many women remove the vast majority of hair from their bodies. Hair is removed from our legs, armpits, face, and groin. Basically every body hair other than arm hair is removed. Given that context it makes sense for someone to wonder why a woman who remove hair everywhere else doesn’t also remove arm hair.