Feminist Approved “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

EntertainmentFeminismHoliday 5 Comments

Dara Laine and John Weselcouch perform a new and feminist approved version of the holiday classic… “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” They make their point in 38 seconds.

If you’re not familiar with the original “mouse” and “wolf” style lyrics (written in 1944 by Frank Loesser and originally performed, informally, as a duet with his wife at a housewarming party), check them out below. By today’s standards some people argue his lyrics are creepy at best, and border on date rape at worst. But there are others who simply enjoy the song for what it is.

Original Song Lyrics

I really can’t stay (But baby, it’s cold outside)
I’ve got to go away (But baby, it’s cold outside)

This evening has been (Been hoping that you’d drop in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice)

My mother will start to worry (Beautiful, what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)

So really I’d better scurry (Beautiful, please don’t hurry)
But maybe just a half a drink more (Put some records on while I pour)

The neighbors might think (Baby, it’s bad out there)
Say, what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)

I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

I ought to say no, no, no, sir (Mind if I move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (What’s the sense in hurting my pride?)

I really can’t stay (Baby, don’t hold out)
Oh, but it’s cold outside

I simply must go (But baby, it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (But baby, it’s cold outside)

This welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)

My sister will be suspicious (Gosh, your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)

My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Ooh, your lips are delicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before)

I’ve got to get home (But baby, you’ll freeze out there)
Say, lend me your comb (It’s up to your knees out there)

You’ve really been grand (I thrill when you touch my hand)
But don’t you see (How can you do this thing to me?)

There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my life long sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died)

I really can’t stay (Get over that old doubt)
Oh, but it’s cold outside

  • “Say, what’s in this drink?”

    Jeez. I wish that was a little less topical.

    • Jennifer M. Burke

      Me too. But I’ve always interpreted that as the drink is strong, not that the drink has been adulterated or drugged.

  • Jennifer M. Burke

    I think the parody makes a good point about boundaries, BUT there’s a difference between trying to be persausive and perhaps getting pushy, which is rude and boorish, and being coercive, which is illegal. If there is such a differnece, and I think that there is, this song tends to fall on the persuasive/pushy side of things, not coercive and illegal. I don’t know if it’s helpful to demonize boorish behavior, not when truly coercive things abound.

    • ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

      Well, I personally am all for ‘demonizing boorish behavior’. Why aren’t we doing it more often?

  • DSL

    I’m pretty sure this is satire … and not satirizing what you think it’s satirizing. No, I’m not going to spoon-feed you.