By Alicia Barrón – Imagine for a second there’s an “author” out there who fancies himself an expert on all things Latinas. Now also imagine that this self-appointed expert is so full of himself that he decided to write a manual of sorts on all types — or species — of Latinas.
But seriously, a dude named Joe Bovino had the balls to write this book. The Amazon description of the book reads:
How can you find and identify the right Latina to date, love or marry when the United States includes such an increasingly wide and confusing diversity of them? Three-time #1 bestselling author Joe Bovino’s latest #1 bestseller, Chicaspotting: A Field Guide to Latinas of the United States, combines the accuracy and precision of a bird guide with beautiful illustrations, outlandish observational humor, and keen cultural insights on every page. It’s the ultimate “chicaspotting” companion.
With its user-friendly trait charts, promiscuity ratings, range maps, and detailed descriptions of distinctive physical characteristics, behavioral tendencies, chica magnets, mating habits, and more, this incredibly well-researched guide is all you need to successfully locate, identify, and date Latinas from 14 distinct American subcultures (or “species”)
Chicaspotting requires a sense of humor. So, if you’re a sanctimonious dullard or cranky social justice warrior who’s easily offended by colorful talk about women and ethnicity, put this book down, save your money, and go back to making the world a little less free and enjoyable for everyone else. This book is not intended for you.
Are you f-cking kidding me? JoeBo, don’t hide your misogynist views behind your lame veil of comedy. If having a sense of worth and choosing to not find funny the categorizing and objectifying women, then I’m guilty as charged! Bottom line is: It isn’t funny, bro.
In the book he also apologizes for not including all ethnicities or “species” as he calls it. He writes:
Due to the sheer number and diversity of Latinas in the country, it does not include profiles on some species with small representation (e.g., Panamanian American) or with marginal interest from men.
WOW. So he’s saying that guys aren’t really that into Panamanians? Love that he’s an expert on all things Latina and dating.
Below, Jon Bovino. His online bio includes that “he’s also a fitness enthusiast who appears as a cast member in the P90X workout program.”
Not only does Bovino include ridiculous graphics, maps, outlines and other sexist and degrading visual aides, but he also comes up with chapter names to match. There’s the “Taco Belle” (Mexican American), the “Bumbshell” (Brazilian American), and the “Symmetrical Force” (Colombian American). You get the idea.
All the types of Latinas in the U.S. are judged, rated and ranked by this entitled a–hole, er, aspiring author, based on a few key albeit ridiculously degrading factors. There’s superficiality and promiscuity, of course. He also judges us based on neuroticism, nesting, friendliness and maintenance.
Mexican American Latina Stats According To Bovino
Map Of Ecuadorian American Latina Migration Pattern According To Bovino
Doesn’t this guy have some smart friends who told him this might be an ignorant and misogynistic book idea that’s not humorous at all? Also, his official conclusion is that he hopes his book leads to finding, identifying, appreciating and connecting with more Latinas. If he truly felt this way, this sh-tty field guide wouldn’t exist because it’s actually counterproductive to what he claims to want to achieve.
Also, in your dreams.
About the contribuor
Alicia is a senior digital media producer for a nationally-syndicated television show. She’s also a staff writer for Flama and founded Alice in Pictureland Photography. Alicia enjoys writing about political and entertainment news and has a passion for women’s issues. You can follow Alicia on Twitter.
This piece first appeared on Flama and is republished here with the author’s express permission.